inspiration, Inspire Daily

Inspire Daily– ed.2

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If you’ve ever tackled a big piece of work… this is a constant issue, am I right!?

Whether it’s a whole freaking novel being birthed from your brain, or a 40×60 painting etc… finding the inspiration to keep going strong for the hours or weeks or months or years it takes to push that baby out can be one of the toughest roadblocks.

I’ve spent years in the past waiting for the moment it feels right to write Aubrey’s story… begin that novel… make that art piece etc. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned through those experiences, its that there will never BE a right time. 

The best times of my life have happened when I am dedicated enough show up in my own life daily and make something happen, whether I feel like it or not. So let us continue to have the courage to look inwards, acknowledge our dreams, and make daily baby steps through self made inspiration… walking together all the way 🙂 Let us support each other.

Yours always,

~Fioza

 

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networking

Feelin’ the love!

70 followers and counting in just over two weeks! You guys continue to take my breath away 🙂

Two weeks ago I would have laughed at the notion that such success could be gained in such a short amount of time… especially when it comes to putting networking and me in the same sentence. (Getting 20 likes on a facebook post is a good day for this lady!)

If there’s any segments you’d like to see added to my site, please let me know by commenting below! 

Love always 🙂

~Fioza

…looking forward to the journey ahead…………………………. 🙂

character development, inner peace, inspiration, writing

The Importance of Slowing Down

So, this past weekend was Labor Day… and as any of you who celebrate it know– it’s meant for anything BUT labor.

I went “upnorth” as us Michiganders say, to Gaylord with my lovely Greg and his family.

Inevitably… like any time I take a slight haitus from the everyday hustle and bustle of life, I found a strengthening in my belief of the power of relaxation and disconnection from stress/ routine.

Often times I find myself stressing for no reason.

Okay head, what’s going on?

No response.

You’ve got homework…school…work…a bit of a family crisis

Hum of panic begins brewing.

Hey hey hey! But it’s nothing we can’t tackle like we have a million times before right?

And still… no answer, just a lingering sense of discomfort that threatens to grow hourly.

My mind doesn’t answer, because I’m still working full speed. I believe full well in the saying “Dreams don’t work unless you do”, so I’m always throttling full speed ahead– completing classwork, building a portfolio, working, blogging, and balancing my world of 300 some minions… all the while trying to make room for relationships and “normal” life.

But here’s the kicker: In order to experience life and hold substance behind our voice, we must slow down and live in the moment. It is only then that we are truly open to everything around us. 

Watching Fred (Greg’s pup)… it hit me. The scene was gorgeous. Not because he’s the beautifully handsome little man he is, but because he wasn’t concerning himself with anything other than what was happening right here, right now. 

I practiced Fred’s way of life completely for those two days… and what happened was breathtaking.

Soubi, a character of mine I have known for 11 years now stayed with me for the entire time. I learned the truth behind his life before me… wiped away false tales I had thought I heard in the past… found his mother and father who I didn’t believe were alive… and truly… really connected.

Because of this past weekend I have un-erasable and irreplaceable memories and experiences with him that have grown a better foundation to our friendship and ability to communicate.

That ability… to slow down and LISTEN… is the best tool I can possibly offer you to connecting with your characters and writing. It is priceless and will shape not only the way you write, but the way you live.

So instead of scripting out dialogue and scratching your head over where to go next or how so-and-so would react… listen to so-and-so! Let them tell you. Build a relationship with that person and part of yourself and open your own door to the world inside your mind.

 

That’s all folks! Join me next time!

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~Fioza

 

 

 

character development, inner peace, inspiration, writing

Expand your World

My teacher once told me…

“you can never judge a piece of art without first participating in it.”

At first I must admit, I was confused. To participate in art? What does she mean? I’ve heard of some pretty crazy “participation art” pieces in my art school days but I hardly believed that was what she was encouraging for class… (look it up, crazy stuff! I won’t even mention the details here)

She went on to show us this piece

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(Guernica by Pablo Picasso)

Being a student of art, I do love myself some modern pieces and have a more than slight obsession with the Vienna Secession… so I loved it immediately. Though the majority of my classmates said they’d never want this on their wall.

The participation process she described to us can be applied not only to art… but to life in general

It goes: Participation- Analysis- Perception- Appreciation (Papa!)

  1. First, we instinctively judge the piece– With anything in life we do this… people, places, cultures etc. And it is killing our creativity and the wholesomeness of our lives.
  2. We must CHALLENGE our subjective opinion. Research whatever it is you’re judging. If we stay uncultured to things unfamiliar to us… we can never learn the perspective they have to offer. 

As human beings we naturally crave comfort, but for growth and opening to happen we must step outside of our comfort zones. It is only there that we will broaden our perspective.

3. Once we’ve done a little research into where that person is coming from, we will add our own perception. Just like a piece of art, every one of us will judge an experience differently due to their our past experiences.

4. Now that we have sat with that experience we can revisit it and truly know how we feel. We can find comfort in the fact that we tried. It’s ok if you don’t like that piece of art, don’t agree with parts of that religion, or don’t enjoy that individual’s personality. You’ve honestly looked at the inside of that experience and not judged it for lack of better words…by its cover.

Keeping an open mind is important to anyone, but I as a writer find it extremely important to my trade.

How can I write about a woman who lives in Turkey, if I don’t know what daily life in Turkey is like?

Jumping out of our comfort zones can help enrich ourselves and our stories, bringing a new substantive feeling we can no longer return from once we’ve triggered it. So here’s my challenge to you…

If you’re writing the story of someone struggling with depression… open yourself up to your own sadness and feel it with them. If you’re writing about someone leading a revolution… research revolutions of the past and understand the struggles they will face in their everyday lives.

Go out and live life… grip it in your hands… feel it! As one of my favorite writers once said:

 

“…I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived…”

~Henry David Thoreau

 

 

 

inner peace, love, Poetry, writing

Because you love me…

“No matter where you go in life… I know you will do great things”

He turned to me and smiled assuredly– not a trace of doubt behind those words he had spoken. The strength he felt was contagious, and in that moment I knew I was ready to face anything college life would hand to me.

I turned around and left in pursuit of a psychology degree from Central Michigan University after that day. I left not only my dreams of being an artist or a writer behind… I left you.

..And you were right there when everything fell apart.

Because you love me… I can be.

 

   *        *        *

 

Gregory and I met in junior high. We were 11 or 12 at the time, and as preteens tend to be… I was wrapped up in myself all too much. So it wasn’t until our senior year of High School that I truly appreciated him.

You broke down my walls.

My boyfriend of four years left to attend Michigan State University and halfway to graduation I discovered he was cheating on me. We had been in marching band together… and a majority of our friends were shared between us and gotten through the music program. Shocked by the revelation, my friends stayed silent and gave me space… unable to find the words to comfort me.

Of course this is the last thing I wanted… feeling lonelier than I had felt since puberty first hit, but it is how it happened. Shortly after, my grandfather died. And after that… my uncle passed, only in his forties after a two year long struggle with overcoming addiction tired him to his end.

 

  *          *         *

 

And you were the only one who approached me.

Every day, Gregory would come to my locker after the final class bell rang. Every day, he would ask me to walk home with him. And every day, the loneliness faded further and further away.

He wasn’t like everyone else I had met. He was sincere… unafraid to look into my eyes, call me out on my lies, and speak honestly and rawly about the pain I was feeling. I had never had anyone care for me so purely, and I had absolutely no idea how to respond to it.

So we spent a few hours each day after school together, but never dared speak aloud the words that captured what we meant to each other.

 

*         *         *

So when the time came to pursue our futures, I left with the girl I called my best friend to chase a degree she loved since I had been told time and time again that nothing good could come from my passions besides a hobby. And eventually… my fake reality came to an end.

” You never made me happy!” she shouted

“Please don’t leave” I pleaded in the middle of campus square as she turned her back on seven years of friendship.

“Or you’ll what? Kill yourself because you’re so miserable!? I wish you would… this world would be abetter place if you did.”

And just like that started the longest bout of soul searching and pain I had ever encountered.

It took only a week to realize I didn’t want to be there without her… and that I wanted nothing to do with psychology. Not to mention, the college campus I had once looked at as a beacon of hope for my future now stood as a grimacing and haunting reminder of a past I could never return to.

I dropped out of CMU and came back home to pursue a degree in arts and storytelling. I could not have prepared myself for how simultaneously painful and liberating the journey ahead would be.

*         *         *

Yet as soon as I needed you… you appeared. 

Despite the fact that I had taken him for granted and left him behind… Gregory was right there to confide in and comfort me through yet another crisis. And there he stayed, by my side through 5 boyfriends and more premature deaths than a family should encounter.

After years of being my best friend, Greg came out to me as being gay. Terrified that I would never think the same of him again, I hugged him and for the first time felt like I could finally return even a sliver of the comfort he had provided to me throughout the years. That same night I admitted that my feelings for my old best friend extended past those of friendship and that it took me loosing her to figure it out.

From then on, our conversations deepened and so did our friendship. As time passed, I discovered that my feelings for Greg had grown immensely and that I desired to be more than just a friend. But knowing that this would not happen, I kept my feelings inside.

There were times I could no longer keep things inside, and I would end up blurting my feelings out like a klutz. I was sure that these times would scare him away… that my stupidity would ruin the best thing I had found in life. However, he never left my side. He simply told me not to apologize for my feelings and that it took more than that to scare him away.

You’re stuck with me

… he would say as if it was a curse. But it was and still remains the most comforting phrase he has ever spoken to me.

*         *         *

The passing of time revealed more than just memories made. As it turned out… wounds really can completely heal. Bitter memories can become sweet once again… and the impossible can happen.

Last year, during one of my blurts… Gregory revealed to me that he may have been wrong about his feelings towards me. He admitted that for about a year prior he had felt feelings similar to mine but had been too afraid to try to be together, thinking that it may not work out and could ruin our friendship.

So we gave it a try.

6 months ago we tentatively went into a new kind of relationship… and today we are inseparable.

He understand me like nobody else. With a personality torn by over 300 different characters, that’s saying a lot! I had never found anyone that could love every side of me and know them as well as I do. But today I have found that. He lets them live… and because of that I am free.

With a promise that we will be with each other forever, I am able to face my days with more happiness than ever before. Together, we grow and support each other the the best and worst of times.

I feel so blessed to have Gregory in my life.

…because you love me, I can be. 

Always yours

~Fioza

(Gregory will be joining Talking to Myselves as an author of the page as well, since we write together after all. I look forward to the dynamics he will bring and can’t wait for you to meet him!)

 

inspiration

Inspire Daily #1

Every day, you beautiful people inspire me to go forth and do what I love. So every day… I’m going to inspire you back 🙂 Deal.

So today, Im gonna get you out of your rut! Who doesn’t like inspirational quotes to start the day?

Ok…get ready… the bombardment awaits!

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“The Earth is only a little dust under our feet” people!

And doubt is the #1 killer of dreams! Bonafide fact there… mhmmm.

We are writers, creators, dreamers and makers of the wildest of dreams. So let not this dust stop you from creating a world more beautiful than the one in front of your eyes.

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…So chase them! What are you waiting for? You have to be brave enough and bold enough to chase after those balloon dreams. I don’t know… they seem kinda intimidating to me but I believe in you!

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…and afterall, isn’t it crazier to NOT try? Think of all that’s at stake if you give up now.

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I know it seems like there’s no clear path ahead… no promise that you’ll get where you want to go… but you know the answers. Reach inside and ignore the external pressures of daily life and you will find without a doubt where you need to go. Your job now is to make sure those visions reach all of us because hell… they’ll be greatly missed if not.

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And make one I will. I hope you’ll follow me in blazing your own path through this beautifully hectic world of ours.

Take this inspiration and make today a day worth living.

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Always yours,

~Fioza

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Time to see the dreams…

Off to bed, but before I go I wanted to share a quote with you!

 

Night-Is-To-See-The-Dreams-And-Day-Is-To-Make-Them-True.So-Its-Good-To-Sleep-Now-And-See-The-Dreams.Good-Night-Sweet

 

…So even for those of you calling it a night with me, may your dreams be sweet ones. And those of you greeting the morning, go out there and make your dreams a reality 🙂

It may seem overwhelming at times– the amount of work needed to make them come true. But if you live every day with the belief that anything is possible… these baby steps will become a foundation to the life you’ve always imagined.

I love you to the moon and back,

~Fioza

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Thank you!

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100 likes and 50 followers in a week and a half!

Thank you all for your amazing support and love 🙂 I’m blown away by all of you beautiful people!

To return the love I will be adding a daily segment to my blog for inspirational quotes to help get your morning started right!

Thank you again and I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us,

~Fioza

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My Artwork is Added!

No story is complete without showing all of its sides… so why haven’t I shown you all of mine?

I’ve decided to add a page specifically for my Concept Art and other artworks.

To check out the full gallery you can visit my Concept Art page.

I have been drawing ever since I can remember, however I began my classical training in the arts in 2012 and have been pursuing a degree in Concept Art ever since. I hope to work as a concept artist for an animation studio… fingers crossed Pixar one day!

Until now I have had little to no freedom over my assignments. However, this semester I am working alongside the coordinator of my program to start learning the digital painting skills I need to succeed in my field.

What I’ve added is just the beginning! I hope you’ll follow me in my journey this semester as I tackle digital art and bring my sketches to life 🙂

Thank you all for your continued support.

Much love,

~Fioza